Hello, my name is Ken Barnes. I am 47 years old. I was born and raised in Southern California and no, I am not crazy.

So says the website of the guy who is currently stranded near Chile in the Southern Ocean, after being dismasted in a nasty storm near Cape Horn. He left southern California October 28th, 2006 in an attempt to be the smartest person to sail non-stop alone around the world . Now he is bobbing up and down in the Southern Ocean waiting for a Chilean fishing vessel to pick him up while his dad, girlfriend, and two very fuckable daughters appear on every network news show they can to tell the world about the plight of dear old Dad.. The news is making him out to be a Modern American Hero, braving the elements, fiercely hanging on to life by a thread, hoping beyond hope that a miracle rescue occurs before Mother Ocean swallows his yuppie ass whole.

If that sounds a little harsh, here’s why.

He volunteered. He chose the assignment and knew the risks. No one drafted him or put a gun to his head. No one hijacked his boat and forced him out there.

The boat he is on is on the large side for single-handed sailing, and leans toward comfort rather than seaworthiness. This indicates a mind-set of land comforts rather than the ascetic simplicity of a hardened sailor. Proof of this is in his daughter’s lament on Larry King tonight "Things are very desperate. He is down to Pop-Tarts." Well, with not a croissant to be seen, I hope that Chilean fishing boat makes it quickly - and that they remembered to grocery shop before the rescue!

Meanwhile, a more hardened sailor in a much smaller boat not far from his, chose to pass on recuing him (correctly I think) because there is a storm brewing and she does not want to be caught on the ocean in it. Her boat is half the size of his - and probably more seaworthy. Her boat, designed solely to survive ocean crossings, made it through the storm that dismasted him.

His own father was against the trip calling it incredibly dangerous and saying ""Cape Horn is where they turn men into boys,". Hmm…I thought that was San Francisco. Whatever.

Anyway, I am not saying I think the guy ought to die or anything, I just think America’s hearts are going out to the wrong cause. Want to feel for real? Empathize with an American soldier in Iraq as he lays dying by a roadside somewhere, after dutifully fighting an unwinable (that’s right George) war for a people that hate him and don’t want him to be there.