Phillip Curtis McKee, III, lived the stressful life of a Firefighter/EMT with the Arlington County Fire Department in Arlington VA. The events of 9-11 changed his life forever. Phillip was among the first to respond to the Pentagon and worked for three straight days at the crash site. During the rescue work, he sustained serious injuries in the line of duty, was placed on disability and subsequently retired.

Before becoming a Firefighter/EMT, Phillip was a nationally recognized expert on Internet Fraud, served on a White House Panel on Aging, testified before the FTC, FDA, SEC & DOJ, and a host of other acronyms. He was also the Asst. Director of the National Fraud Information Center, Washington, DC.

And recently, Phillip walked proudly down the aisle to make a life-long commitment to his soul mate - wearing a plaid skirt. Phillip will tell you it is a kilt. Whatever. Phillips bride is police officer Mr. Nopadon Woods.

Gay marriage is looking very much like it is here to stay, and the events are now becoming an industry in America. With higher than average income, gay couples are spending tens of thousands of dollars on ceremonies. And the wedding industry is responding, with same-sex cake toppers and other items designed just for gay couples.

Personally, I don’t get it. To start with, who throws the bouquet? How long will it be before there is a news story about a newlywed couple who beat the shit out of each other deciding who carries who over the threshold? And how could anybody chose some guy’s hairy butthole over the beauty of a woman’s body?

Don’t get me wrong - I am all for gay marriage. The more unserviced pussy there is out there, the better my chances of finding work for little Amp.

Even Pat Robertson should be for it - it certainly solves the whole abortion issue, until of course some fringe group decides turds are a life-form.

So, here is to Phillip Curtis McKee, III, may you and your kind prosper and multiply, and do whatever it is you do far from my eyes or ears.You stay on your end of the rainbow and I’ll stay on mine.