December 27, 2006 - New York - One or more future residents of Hell broke in to Saint Mel’s Roman Catholic Church in the Whitestone section of Queens, New York on Christmas Day and made off with $20,000 that was destined to help homeless families..

Anyway, it looks like the thieves will have plenty of company in Hell. Look what a short search brings back on church crime.

December 27, 2006 - Bluffton, SC - A thief rifled through purses during services at St. Luke’s Episcopal Church on (!) Pope Avenue. The thief got Three cell phones, a digital camera and a small amount of cash

December 26, 2006 - Indianapolis, Indianna - Two teens broke in to the rectory at St. John’s Church. Father Noah Casey (Go Irish!) kicked one’s ass and the other was tracked to a hotel. A laptop was recovered.

December 26, 2006 - Buffalo woman (?) Ann Heine walks in to Holy Angels Catholic Church, 348 Porter Ave. in Buffalo, N.Y., and sits down for Mass. A guy sits behind her, reaches over and, grabbing her purse, runs out and disappears down Cobb Lane.

December 25, 2006 - New York - a two-foot plastic statue of the Virgin Mary, holding the baby Jesus, was discovered dangling by a noose around its neck from a light fixture near the roof of Stewartstown Presbyterian Church.

December 25, 2006 - Burned Bulloch County, Georgia - Lawrence Baptist Church - Someone broke into the church social hall, stealing valuable artwork and antiques, including a table and mirror near the front door. They even took the church water cooler and photocopy machine.

December 22, 2006 - Episcopal Church of Saint Paul and Saint James was robbed three times in 2006

December 22, 2006 - Sacred Heart Church in Mount Vernon looses $5,000 after someone breaks a lock on a locked collection box in a back room.

December 21, 2006 - El Paso, TX - University Presbyterian Church - Thieves made away with 10 of 14 computers, a set of drums, several guitars, keyboards a TV, the speakers used for Sunday services, and even the refrigerator and a few microwaves.

December 21, 2006 Munjoy Hill in Portland, Or.Someone stole the baby jesus from the nativity scene in front of St. Paul’s church

December 21, 2006 - Crossville, Tn. (Bet they have a lot of churches) - A thief broke in to the Cumberland Fellowship and smashed french doors, a black briefcase, duffel bag case, keyboard, trash can, tote, bank bags, tool box, day planner, $24 check made out to the clerk’s office, several sets of keys and three blank payroll checks.

December 19,2006 - Philadelphia, PA - The Rev. William B. Shrout Jr., a former pastor at the church was charged with stealing from a needy families fund at the church.

The list above could be much longer. I just got bored and sick reading about all these church thefts. Why can’t these people just go to Ampland and jerk off?