Sometimes You Paint Yourself Into A Corner
An art teacher has been suspended for airing videos on YouTube where he demonstrated the art of painting with his butt. Stan Murmer, from Monacan High School in Virginia, has a technique which involves coating his buttocks – or when he requires greater detail, his penis – , then pressing them on the canvas.
Anyone can report this story, but it takes Amp to wonder what he uses for paint. CLICK HERE to view America’s new Picasso in action.

…And Sometimes You Are Just Screwed
It’s Thursaday morning in El Cerrito, California, and John Sheehan is minding his own business, just hanging out downtown under a tree, naked and masturbating.vigorously. In New York he probably could have sat there jerking off until he starved to death and no would have noticed, but, El Cerrito is a pretty average little city, so sooner than later the cops show up and ask him why he is masturbating naked in broad daylight. Well apparently John did not have a complelling reason, so the cops decided to arrest him. As a matter of procedure, they ask him if he had any weapons on him. John says “Sure!” - and tells them cheerfully he has a screwdriver stuck up his ass.
Well the cops must have known their lives were in danger, because they drew their guns - and then called paramedics to remove the screwdriver. They show up, survey the scene, and basically ask why the hell they were called. They were not about to assist in the delivery of a screwdriver from John’s ass. While they are arguing this point with the cops, John sees an opportunity to redeem himself as a productive member of society, and offers to pluck the screwdriver out of his ass himself - no taxpayer dollars involved. Everyone agrees and John, still naked in public, gives the citizens of El Cerrito an impromptu lesson in how to remove a screwdriver from a man’s ass using nothing but your hands. Soon, the light of day is shining once again upon John’s screwdriver, and he is whisked off to jail for … what? Lewd conduct without an ASE certification? Whatever..

C ‘ya