Another Full Of Shit Charity
Here at Ampland, we go out of our way never to piss off any single group of people. We would hate it if anyone thought we were not politically correct. So it really hurts us to talk about the fact that PETA - "People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals" ) is made up of a bunch of two-faced fucknuts and completely misguided mental midgets.
In the wake of recent news reports about a dog who suffered and died after being shot by a Fort Worth police officer, PETA has posted an action alert on its Web site urging visitors to contact authorities and demand basic staff training for officers who may encounter dogs in their work.So far, so good I guess.
In other animal news, PETA protests the killing of chickens for human consumption.
Oh, how sweet. Now look at this.
PETA claims to save animals. The truth is they kill of whopping 83% of the animals they become responsible for. By comparison, the SPCA only kills about 25% of the animals they are charged with caring for.
Two employees of PETA were arrested recently on 31 felony animal-cruelty charges for killing and disposing of dogs and puppies in a dumpster.
There are tons more examples - feel free to Google this stuff - and if you are tempted to give money to PETA, you might want to use your money to buy a big, thick, juicy steak instead - or just send it to us - at least we generally eat the animals we kill. Hell, in the case of pussy, we eat the animal AND let it live to tell the story! Bet PETA can’t do that.
WTF ALERT
Santa Barbara County sheriff’s deputies come across a bizarre encounter at La Purisima Mission in Lompoc. Around midnight they found a 69-year-old man from Huntington Beach, California…naked, shivering, and covered in oats. Deputies say the man had covered himself in olive oil, rolled around in oats and allowed the horses at the mission to lick him clean.
He apparently told deputies this has always been a fantasy of his and drove up from the Los Angeles area to play it out.Alfred Thomas Steven was cited and released for trespassing, animal cruelty. and sexually assaulting an animal. No PETA activists were seen at the scene.
Holiday Spirit Award
Redhots and Fries Restaurant in Glenview, Illinois absolutely takes the Holiday Spirit Award for serving — Hooyeah! — reindeer hotdogs! Actual quotes from customers went like this:
"It’s kind of like venison but less gamey, I pretended this one was Prancer." said Mean Guy Nicholas Koshiw of Wicker Park.
"It’s got a strong flavor but not overpowering," said Chicago resident and Real Man Gary Wiviott.
"We didn’t eat Rudolph today. We ate some un-faced, un-named reindeer, so I am ok with that," said Major Wussy Lynette Engdhal.
No one said it tasted like chicken, and we saw no PETA activists - probably just a matter of time.
She Didn’t Hit Any Animals
Nicole Richey was arrrested and booked for DUI in L.A. yesterday, after driving the wrong way down a freeway onramp and parking (facing the wrong way) in the fast lane. Which is where she was sitting happily and talking on her cell phone when police arrived. The news here is not that yet another celebrity got way fucked up and did stupid shit. The news here is not that she copped to being stoned and eating ’some’ Oxycotins. The news is that she weighed in at 85 pounds!
85 lbs - soaking wet
Damn girl, that is fucking thin. Nicole has recently gone in to treatment for an eating disorder (puke much?) and has also plead guilty to heroin possession (puke much?). She posted $15,000 bail after family members talked her out of showing off by slipping out between the bars of her cell.
Nicole recently won PETA’s Worst Dressed Celebrity of the year award for frequently wearing fur and feathers.
C’ Ya
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