On The Couch - Near the Toilet

Maybe I am just a fucking slob, but every woman I have ever been with has this weird sense of clean that I just don’t get. I mean,. in some ways, I think I have a better sense of clean than they do. And every time a woman gets on me for being a slob and I defend myself, I lose the battle - if not the war.

For example; Just last night, I took a piss right before dinner, wallked out to the dining room, and went to sit down. My old lady jumps up and stands between me and the chair.
“Aren’t you forgetting something?” she says, hands on hips.
“Huh?”
“Hey mister, you forgot to wash your hands.” she continues.
“Huh?”
“H-e-l-l-o. Didn’t you just use the wash room?”
WTF is she talking about? I think for a minute - wash room - how long has it been since I did laundry…hmm… I don’t think I have ever done laundry. Last time she went to her mom’s for ten days, I left skids in my boxers she still hasn’t been able to shake loose. Did I leave carbeuretor parts sitting by the dryer again? Anyway, I don’t get it.
So, once again, “Huh?”
“Dude, you just went to the bath room. You should wash your hands!”
Oh, I get it now. “Sorry honey, you said wash room, and I thought it had something to do with laundry.” I forget I guess, women call bath rooms wash rooms or rest rooms.
“Very funny, the wash room is where you wash your hands.” she snips
Really? I don’t. Generally, I shit, piss, or jerk off.
“Honey, it’s no big deal.” says I.
“Look, you need to wash yer freakin’ hands. I spent an hour preparing a good meal.” she whines.
OK, here is where I fuck up. I state what to me is the obvious. “Honey bunch”, I say just as sweet as I can, “I gotta tell you this makes no sense. You are complaining that I am being unclean and not respecting your dinner because I am willing to eat without washing my hands after I shook it dry in the toilet. Well, I don’t eat with my hands, I eat with a fork.And, as far as unsanitary,” and here’s where I really fuck up, “I might be about to eat with hands that briefly touched my dick a few minutes ago, but tell me, would that be the same dick you put in your mouth this afternoon?”
Ouch. Anyway, Amp is on the couch tonight - so tell me, is she being a little imbalanced by freaking out about the hand thing after she spit polished it with her tonsils? I mean she prolly still has pubes wrapped around her wisdom teeth. Women, Whatever, G’night.

Ok, I promised more and better close-ups of Britney’s fatted clam, so HERE they are. Enjoy! Tell a friend!