Asshole Of The Week Award Goes to Bob Kearns of Pagosa Springs, Colorado for being a facist buttworm. Bob, being the important guy he is, has the mind-blowingly important responsibility of being the President of the Loma Linda Homeowners Association, a subdivision of 200 homes in Pagosa Springs, Colorado. One resident, Lisa Jensen (you go girl!) put up a lovely wreath on her house with a peace sign on it for the holidays.

According to Bob the Idiot, he received complaints from Loma Lamo residents who feel the wreath is a “symbol of Satan” and an “anti-Iraq-war icon”. So he instructs the five-member Homeowner’s Architectural Committee to fine Lisa $25 a day until she removes the evil wreath. When the committee members all refuse and tell Bob what an asshole he is, he fires them all and replaces them with members who will back his plan. Who the fuck does this guy think he is, George Bush? This will cost Lisa about $1,000 - as she has no plans to remove the wreath until after Christmas. For her, it is a free speech and free expression issue. To quote Lisa - “What if they don’t like my Santa Claus?”

So I took a look around the Internet and found the mostly-broken, lame beyond words web site of the Loma Linda Homeowners Association. Predictably, it is at LomaLindaHomeowners.com. The site is a truly horrid little piece of work, and is about 0% complete. The Contact Us - like almost everything, is under construction, but it does have some of the minutes from recent meetings. So, while there is NO email address listed on the site or for Bob, the April, 2006 minutes list Bob Kearn’s phone number as 264-4706. Psst….The area code for Pagosa Springs is 970.
What do you want to bet one of the millions of Amplanders out there gives Bob a call?

I forgot My Shit….
Here is some news that falls under the “who-the-fuck-thought of this?” category. Some people believe in evolution. Others believe in “intelligent design”. I don’t believe either one can explain this new-found connection in human wiring.
San Paulo, Brazil (San Paulo means “smells like ass”, I have been there) - Genetic Researcher Richard Guerrant, after exhaustive study of the populations of Brazilian ghettos, has concluded that the gene that causes Altzheimer’s disease is also responsible for causing diarrhea in younger people. Honest, I am not making this shit up. Google it..