I think I might be in love with Paris Hilton. A mere wisp of a woman, she just keeps doing these dopey, slutty things that just warm my heart. A more obnoxious, less sensitive, less appreciative ho-bag would be hard to find. It was once said that her great-grandfather, Conrad Hilton was a millionaire in doorknobs alone. I like to think she has left snail tracks on about half of them. Any good looking woman who can do a damn fine job of swallowing a pretty credible dick on video, watch the tape turn into the “load heard round the world” and shrug it off with maybe an extra eight-ball, gets my vote. And last night, she just totally won me over by spending a few hours sucking on Grey Goose back stage at a Jay Z concert in Vegas, and then taking the stage herself just in time to puke her fuckin’ guts out under the lights. How did she handle this awkward situation? She stumbled off into the night to find more dope. Who needs class when you are still in your twenties and have a permanently unlimited supply of dope money. Ooh yeah.

Yeah, OK , enough for my Paris fantasy. Last Saturday, a Delta Airlines flight attendant with scrawny breasts, asked a woman aboard the flight to cover herself when nursing her baby. When she refused, the Delta crew, led by the titless flight attendant, made a big fucking deal out of it and kicked the woman and her family off the plane. Suckage coming at her from everywhere, poor chick.
So today, lactating women crawled out of the woodwork at a dozen U.S. airports to stage suck-ins, breast feeding and demontrating publicly for the right to have their tits sucked in public. Since I am being realistic about my chances with Paris, I am volunteering here. Any woman who would like her tits (or whatever) sucked in public (or wherever) please drop me an email at the bottom of the page. Please include a picture of BOTH tits. If your rack looks like a pair of raw eggs hanging on nails, you might want to send a copy to Mr. ROFL from my last post (and his 76-year-old old lady) just in case I am a little slow getting back to you.

I am holding my breath.

C ‘ya