Superior, Wisconsin - Bryan James Hathaway, aged 20, breathing a diet of pure turbo-stupid, managed to get himself arrested this week in Superior, Wisconsin for fucking a dead deer. Rather than running from the law and taking refuge in a deer abbey, he is fighting the charges of animal cruelty. It is against the law in Wisconsin to fuck deer. Wow, if Bryan James Hathaway couldn’t get one of the over three billion human women on this planet to mate with him, and couldn’t even get a live deer to do it at gunpoint, sex with this guy must be a real treat. His lawyer, Frederic Anderson, is arguing that because the deer was dead, it was no longer alive, and therefore no longer a deer. It was property: property belonging to Bryan James Hathaway, aged 20, of Superior, Wisconsin. So really, all that Bryan James Hathaway was doing was literally beating his own meat.
A couple of things interest Amp here. First, what do you think the chances are that the worst fuck in the world and the worst lawyer in the world would both be from northern Wisconsin? OK, I give you that. But the other thing, (and I did some investigating on this one) is the number of restaurants in the general area offering specials on venison! Even Pine Baron’s, a local gourmet establishment written up in the NY Times is getting in to the act. One patron remarked on the great rack he had just “eaten”…..

OMFG

Bryan James Hathaway, age 20, Family Album

Bryan James Hathaway at Halloween  

Bryan James Hathaway’s puppy, moments before he decided to
“throw the dog a bone” ….nick nack, paddywagon….  C’ya